Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
