Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
