Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
