...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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