I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
