We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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