that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
