Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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