brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
