party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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