All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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