Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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