Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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