The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
