do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
