and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
