I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
