well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
