yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
