rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
