Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
