I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You pole danced in your parka.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
