Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
