Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
