So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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