you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
