I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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