listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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