well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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