Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
