OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
