wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
