How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
