butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I will die if light touches me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
