I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
