Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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