Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
