yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Found your dick twin last night
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
