And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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