problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
