what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
