i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
is wine microwaveable?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
