I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
