That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just puked most of my soul out..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
