rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
