i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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