He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
