I showed him my bush... on skype.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
