How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
there was a trapeze. enough said
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
