the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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