i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
