i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
